


Meet the Merlins

by joyfulwhispers



Series: Dreams [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:00:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9400847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joyfulwhispers/pseuds/joyfulwhispers
Summary: A potion has taken Morgana, Arthur, Gwen, and the knights into Merlin's mind. There, they meet different personalities of Merlin they hadn't even suspected he had. There's Cheerful Merlin, Angsty Merlin, Arrogant Merlin, Wise Merlin and more. But where's their Merlin? They need to find him. To do that they need Emrys. Meanwhile, Dark Merlin has plans of his own...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/n Part of my fanfiction.net series dreams:https://www.fanfiction.net/~joyfulwhispersinternet  
> Please be gentle, I was about twelve when i wrote this. If you want to hear a general idea of what Musician! Merlin sounded like, type this: youtube(dut)com(slash)watch?v=hTtieIU72Vc and go to 4:43. Yes, yes I do still watch Recess xD

RECAP from last series:

Morgana carried on, ignoring the knight.

"Oh, I'll find your precious Merlin, all right. Now, would you like him dead or alive?" she asked pleasantly.

Percival raised his hand. "Um, alive please," he answered.

Morgana cackled again. "Too bad!" she replied, downing her potion and disappearing from the room in a puff of smoke.

"Quick! After her!" Arthur commanded, and he, Gwen and the knights all downed their potions, leaving Gaius to find their bodies all in Merlin's room and sigh, shaking his head in an 'I don't even want to know' fashion.

-BREAK-

"Where are we?" Gwen asked, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"I don't know, but it had better be somewhere with a tavern," Gwaine replied, looking around nervously.

They were in a dark, empty area that was seemingly deserted.

"Well, this is creepy," Arthur said, drawing his sword and holding it up as if to stab any invisible monsters.

"Aw, scared of the dark, are we Arty?" Morgana teased, ever the annoying older sister.

"I'm not scared!" Arthur replied hotly.

"Yeah, whatever. Just thought it might be hard for you to be all alone in the dark without Pudsey to protect you." Morgana smirked.

"Who's Pudsey?" Gwen asked, momentarily forgetting that Morgana was evil in her curiosity.

"His stuffed yellow bear." Morgana told Gwen, making her giggle.

"Not that it matters. Not even Pudsey could stop me destroying him now," Morgana stated, and when she got five glares (Gwen was still too busy giggling) in response to her statement, she continued, "Oh relax, it's not you that I'm interested in, it's Merlin."

And with that she walked off in the other direction, her smugness radiating from her, completely sure that, even though she could still feel them glaring at her back, none of them would attack her, seeing as she could blast them to pieces if they did.

"I hate her," Gwen muttered.

"Well, I rather like her," said a voice from the shadows, which, though being surprisingly nasty, was strangely familiar.

Morgana whipped round, preparing to cast all her fury upon the person who suggested that she was even slightly nice.

The others all made 'wasn't me' gestures, looking confused, and the evil she-witch stalked towards them.

"Why should I believe you?" she said distrustfully.

"No offence," Elyan answered, "But you haven't exactly given us any reason to give you Camelot's Witch of the Year award."

Morgana still looked doubtful, but even she looked fearful of the frightening voice that none of them knew the owner of.

"Well, I suppose it would be better if we travelled together," she said, her eyes darting to all of them in turn, looking at them with disdain. "At least until I find better companions, anyway."

"You mean completely evil ones?" Leon suggested.

"Yes," she responded, "though one that was half-evil in a way that made you feel sorry for them would do" she added thoughtfully.

"Hmmm," Arthur said, scratching his head. "Half-evil in a way that makes you feel sorry for them. Now why does that sound familiar?"

"Shut up," Morgana growled.

"Come on, can't stay here chatting all day," Lancelot intoned, eager to break up the sibling fight that was sure to come if no one stopped it.

And so they began walking. However, they hadn't gotten three feet when they bumped into someone. Merlin!

His eyes darted backwards and forwards, and he looked agitated, as if he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Help me. P-please help me," he begged.

"It's okay, Merlin, we've come to take you home," Gwen said soothingly, obviously seeing her friend was in distress.

"Not if I take him first!" Morgana darted forward, and Merlin squealed, hiding behind a figure that was practicing sword moves. And that figure was…Merlin!

"Wait a second, I'm confused. Either I'm seeing double, or there are two Merlins," said Gwaine, pointing out the obvious as usual.

"Young one, we are not the only Merlins," said another person to his right who looked like Merlin, but he had Gaius' reading glasses and the look of a mad scientist.

"There are many more of us. Musician Merlin," he asked a different Merlin who had just appeared in front of them, "would you care to introduce these men and women of average intelligence level to ourselves?" the other Merlin nodded, grinning excitedly and, putting an arm around Gwaine, he sang "Well, there's meeee! The Musician! Merlin,"

And then pointing to the Merlin in the glasses "And there's hiiim, Wise! Merlin"

He pointed to the Merlin practicing sword moves and crooned "And then there's hiiim, Swordsman! Merlin,"

Moving toward the other Merlin cowering behind who was now known to be Swordsman! Merlin, Musician! Merlin lulled "And then there's hiiim, Afraid! Merlin, and that's not alllll"

Swinging Gwaine around, Musician! Merlin pointed to all the other different Merlins that had sprung up in from of them, singing.

"There's…Angsty! Merlin, AU! Merlin, Clumsy! Merlin, Arrogant! Merlin, Cheerful Merlin, and that's not alll!


	2. Chapter 2

"This is beyond strange and beyond my pay grade," Gwaine said. Musician! Merlin had just finished introducing every single Merlin there was, at excruciatingly high speed, whilst playing the cello after kindly, and then forcefully being asked to stop singing.

"Shut up, Gwaine. You're not helping," Arthur replied.

"What? We can't help it! We're gonna die! We're gonna die!" Afraid! Merlin yelled again and again, running around in circles.

"No-look-" Gwen tried to calm him down.

"We're gonna dieeee!" Afraid! Merlin fell over, only to be bodily picked up by Gwen.

"Snap out of it, man!" the once maid and now Queen of Camelot slapped him, Afraid! Merlin whimpering in her arms.

"Hmm, it's best if we end our pitiful existence here and now," Angsty! Merlin sat down and went into a fetal position.

"I like him," Morgana pointed at Angsty! Merlin, amused.

"We're not gonna die. We'll live to see tomorrow and we're going to save the world. We are the champions of Albion!" Cheerful! Merlin sang.

Swordsman! Merlin stabbed performed a serious of impressive moves with his sword. "I'll fight off whatever evil that comes our way."

Afraid! Merlin stopped whimpering long enough to once more shriek "We're gonna die!" before promptly passing out, landing with a thump as Gwen dropped him on the floor.

"What? I can't die," Arrogant! Merlin scoffed. "I'm the most powerful warlock to have ever lived. Plus, I'm young and cute. I can't die."

The knights and Gwen all stared at Arrogant! Merlin, and then swivelled around to Arthur, expressions ranging from confused to amused.

"What?" Arthur inquired, looking uncomfortable.

"I think we just met Arthur! Merlin," Gwen whispered, and all of the knights smothered their laughs beneath the glare of their King.

Arrogant! Merlin ran a hand through his hair and stared down his nose at them. "Me? Be like him? Quite frankly, my dear, I think you should have your eyes checked."

Arthur eyes popped at the ludicrousness of the version of Merlin before him. Standing as tall as he could (Merlin had always been taller than him; a fact which irked him), he pulled up his sleeves as if getting ready for a fight.

"You wanna go, pretty boy?" he snarled. "I could take you out just like that," he snapped his fingers.

"Per-lease, you're not worthy enough to spit-shine my shoes," Arrogant! Merlin jeered.

"You're the biggest jerk I've ever met!" Arthur yelled, frustrated.

"Yeah, well you've got the brains of a donkey, with a face to match," Arrogant! Merlin shot back, going nose to nose with Arthur.

"You're a…you're a…you're a PRAT!" both shouted simultaneously, and then reeling away from each other in shock.

"You're calling me a prat?" Arthur balled up his fists.  
"I call 'em as I see 'em" retorted Arrogant! Merlin.

"Oh. Yeah? Well, I'm going to do to you what you did to my manservant!" Arthur threatened.

Arrogant! Merlin laughed. "I am your manservant, you dollophead."

"What? But…"

"All of you please SHUT UP!" Wise! Merlin rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Why am I the only smart one here?" Sighing, he turned to Arthur, Gwen, the knights and Morgana. "If you want to find your friend, you need to find Emrys."

"Emrys?" Morgana's eyes widened.

"Yes, Emrys" an unfamiliar voice smirked. "Lady Morgana's destiny or doom. Fear not, Your Highness, for after I kill these bastards here, it will be the former."

Dark! Merlin stepped out of the shadows, a cruel smile on his face. His hair was in spikes, and his long skinny frame sported black clothes…only black clothes. He looked positively evil.

"Oh dear," Wise! Merlin sighed. "It appears we have forgotten to introduce you to Dark! Merlin. Musician! Merlin, would you care to do the honours?"

Musician! Merlin stepped forward, and gravely putting a hand to his head and falling to the floor, with dramatic piano music he sang in a deep voice "And then…there's…Dark…Merlin" before lying on the ground as if dead.

The new Merlin strutted towards them, one hand in his pockets and a wicked grin on his face. He kicked Musician! Merlin with his toe, muttering "Drama Queen."

He started making his way over to Morgana.

"So what shall it be, My Lady?" he inquired after a deep (almost mocking) bow. "Shall we erase these imbeciles from existence and be on our merry way, or do you think they could perhaps be of some use to us?"

He was almost face to face with her now, but before he could get any nearer Morgana put a hand to his face, blocking him from her.

"Sorry, no offence," she said, putting her hand down after watching him splutter beneath it for a few seconds. "But I've already got a partner in crime-my sister, Morgause-and frankly three's a crowd."

"Try again next series, mate, I read in some spoilers that she'll be a lone witch then," butted in AU! Merlin, before putting in his iPod headphones and sauntering away when Dark! Merlin glared at him.

"It's not that I don't love your style," Morgana assured Dark! Merlin.

The evil warlock gazed at her, and putting up a hand, whispered words of the old religion. "Siew myfi yr terynfradwr" the words brought a smoked screen in front of Morgana, which showed an image of Morgause stealing some of Morgana's green eye shadow.

Morgana gasped. "That traitor!" she shrieked, stomping her foot.

"So, what do you say?" Dark! Merlin asked once again. When Morgana gave no reply, he sighed. "I didn't want to do this but…here comes the smirk." And with that he gave a horrifying, death-bringing expression that would put Medusa to shame, and caused Gwen, Arthur and the knights to back away, afraid of the terrifying expression.

Morgana took one look at the smirk, and immediately banged Dark! Merlin on the head with a saucepan.

"Ow!" shouted the warlock, rubbing his head. "Where did you even get that?"

"Smirking's my thing, you dolt!" said Morgana. "But, if you must, I suppose you can come with me."

It was two evil laughs later, and a couple of evil perilously sounding violin solos (courtesy of Musician! Merlin) that the villainous villains left in a dramatic puff of smoke.


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, what now?" asked Gwaine, breaking the silence (well, as silent as a room full of Merlins could get).

"I suppose we'll have to try and find Merlin," Arthur got up from where he sat

Wise! Merlin said "I told you, to find your friend you must find Emrys."

"Yeah, like that's gonna happen," snorted Gwaine. "How are we going to find him in a place like this? Why can't the universe ever just give us a break?"

…And then Gwaine noticed the huge arrow that had Emrys painted on it pointing northwards. He looked up at the sky, and said "Thank you, the universe."

Gwaine and the rest of the knights started to go in the direction of the arrow, but were stopped by Arthur and Gwen."

"We can't just go by ourselves," Arthur said. He glanced at the Merlins. "You think we could get a few of them to come with us?"

Swordsman! Merlin overheard them and looked over. "I'll only come if one of you beat me in a sword fight!"

Arthur grinned, "Deal!"

The knights and Gwen didn't look so sure, but he said "It's only Merlin, don't worry! This will be a cinch!"

-BREAK-

Gwen laughed, "I can't believe you just lost to Merlin!"

"He tripped me," Arthur grumbled.

"Indeed, you are a good swordsman. I shall accompany you on your quest," Swordsman! Merlin acquiesced.

"Great!" said Percival.

"A friend in need,

Is a friend indeed

So I shall decree

I will come with thee." Lovesick! Merlin announced, getting up and standing beside Arthur, who shrugged.

"More the merrier," he grunted.

"Charming," Gwen frowned.

"A love burning within thee

Between the two of you is what I've seen

A brave King who gets stood up to

By his very deserving Queen." Lovesick! Merlin spouted, smiling. (A/n this is my own poem…sorry for making you read it!)

"Awww," Gwen said, smiling, whilst Arthur scoffed and looked like he had a slight case of the green eyed monster.

"Well, come on then, let's get going," he said.

"Waiiit! Don't leave meee!" moaned Afraid! Merlin, clutching on to Gwen's leg.

Gwen looked at Arthur and raised an eyebrow. "Can we take him?"

Arthur bent down to where Afraid! Merlin was, and shook his head in disgust. "Sorry, no girls allowed."

"Well, I suppose you won't be wanting me then," said Fem! Merlin, tossing her head. "And I was all set to come with the Prat on a great adventure."

Arthur groaned. Fem! Merlin had been bugging him all day, and he couldn't do a thing about it because she was a girl.

"Actually, we would want you. Very much," Gwaine corrected.

Percival turned to Gwaine and whispered "You do realize that's Merlin, right Gwaine?"

Gwaine flushed. "Of course," he mumbled back. "I was just being nice." Then he took a second look at Percival. "Who's that?"

Percival bent down so that Gwaine could see that he was carrying Baby! Merlin in his arms. "Well, I couldn't just leave him here, could I? he said defensively when Arthur stared at him in disbelief.

"Of course you couldn't," sighed Arthur, and then he turned to the rest of the Merlins. "Any more unwanted companions?"

"We have to take Cheerful! Merlin," announced Gwen.

"No way! He's too...cheery," Arthur decided.

"See? That's exactly what I'm talking about," Gwen said. "You're so pessimistic. You were the one who wanted help in the first place, remember?"

"Yeah, but I don't see how Baby! Merlin is going to help when even the real Merlin was useless," joked Arthur.

"His name is Percival Pereduer Jr," Percival growled, rocking the baby back and forth.

Gwaine did a double take. "That's you name?" And then..."Can I call you PP?"

"Enough!" bellowed Arthur. He said to Gwen, "Well, fine then. We'll take Cheerful! Merlin, as long as Clumsy! Merlin can come too."

Ignoring the rest of them (including Gwaine who was moving his hand in clockwise circles near his head to indicate he thought the King had gone mad) Arthur picked up Clumsy! Merlin from where he had last fell, dusted him off, and lifted him onto his shoulder to avoid any more accidents, and made his way back to Gwen and the knights.

"He amuses me," he said, as if that explained everything.

And off they went.


	4. Chapter 4

"So, where are we going, again?" questioned Fem! Merlin for the thirtieth time.

"For the last time, Merlin," Arthur snapped. "We're going to find Emrys, and you wanted to come with us because you had to give Morgana some, er-"

"Fashion tips," Fem! Merlin told him. "I mean, how much eyeliner does she need?"

Arthur shuddered. "I never want to hear those words come from Merlin's mouth ever again."

"Oh, please, call me Merlina," fluttered Fem! Merlin, grinning when she saw how she made Arthur blush with that sentence.

"Come here please, Merlina," said Gwen, grabbing her arm and pulling her back from the boys. "I have some things I need tell you."

…And then they spent the next half an hour discussing the possible pros and cons of Merlin's neckerchief, which Fem! Merlin was wearing, except hers was pinker than their Merlin's. Arthur was also sure that their Merlin had never painted flowers on his either.

"I mean, come on Gwen. It's totally cute," argued Fem! Merlin, holding out her neckerchief for Gwen to see.

"Cute it may be, but it's still scruffy," reprimanded Gwen.

"But it's my trademark," the other woman protested. "I mean, how would you feel if someone told you that you had to stop wearing purple?"

Arthur groaned, and put his head in his hands. "Enough!" he barked, and pointed at Fem! Merlin. "Your neckerchief is scruffy," and then he turned to Guinevere. "And you wear too much-"he instantly stopped as Gwen gave him the look. "I mean, purple suits you, Guinevere. In fact, I think we should change Camelot's colours to purple and gold."

Fem! Merlin coughed. "Whipped," she muttered, and then coughed again, grinning unashamedly when Arthur glared at her. (For those of you that don't know, it basically means Arthur's afraid of Gwen. Rightly so, of course XD).

"Yeah!" shouted Cheery! Merlin, punching the air as if in victory. "We're gonna get whipped!"

Afraid! Merlin popped up. "Whipped? Who's going to get whipped? I haven't done anything, I swear!" he raised his hands defensively, backing away from them and running into Percival, which made the Baby! Merlin in his arms cry. And then Afraid! Merlin squealed at the loud noise, running back behind Gwen, who had sort of become his mistress, looking after him all the time.

"Down, boy," she commanded, and he immediately went on his knees, cowering behind the evil glare that the three-hundred-pound Percival was giving him. "Sit," she ordered, and he instantly sat, knees crossed, on the ground.

Clumsy! Merlin then fell of off Arthur's should for about the tenth time that day, and landed face flat on the ground.

"Alright, you can rest," Arthur said, giving him a little nudge with his foot to put him the right side up, but of course that actually sent him rolling down a hill. Arthur sighed and immediately went to go and get him.

"You know," Gwen said, snuggling down on the ground. "I think Arthur's starting to like Clumsy! Merlin. It's almost like having the regular old Merlin again," she added, patting Afraid! Merlin on the back as he whimpered when he heard an owl hoot.

"Yeah, it's like you and Afraid! Merlin," agreed Elyan, flopping down on the ground. He had relentlessly teased Arthur about Gwen's new affections for Afraid! Merlin the entire day..

"And me and Baby! Merlin," chimed in Percival, putting the baby in his arms gently on the ground, before sitting down with the rest of them.

"And Leon and Musician! Merlin," smirked Elyan. Musician! Merlin had showed up earlier that day, and it turned out he had been following them. Under normal circumstances, Arthur would've beaten him up, but then Clumsy! Merlin had fallen off of his shoulder again, and Arthur was too busy making sure he was alright. Leon, being the nicest out of them all, had walked with Musician! Merlin all of the way to where they were now, though even he had to cover his ears when Musician! Merlin started shrieking this awful song that Modern AU! Merlin had shown him on his 'iPod' as he called it. Something by 'Dustbin Beaver' or whoever. (No offence to anyone who likes Justin Bieber!)

Elyan quickly added, "I call dibs on Cheerful! Merlin!"

Cheerful! Merlin beamed. "Best friends forever!" he declared.

Elyan threw a smirk at Gwaine, who was pouting.

"No fair! Who have I got?" the young knight said in protest, before throwing a hopeful glance at Fem! Merlin, who raised her eyebrows and smothered a laugh, "Sorry mate, but I own myself."

"Ah rejection,

It plagues my soul

True it hurts, my friend, but do not let it

Turn your heart as black as coal," Lovesick! Merlin put a hand on Gwaine's shoulder consolingly.

Gwaine turned to Lovesick! Merlin. "Well, I always said Merlin was a sap," he stated, and put an arm around Lovesick! Merlin, grinning.

"Friendship, friendship,

How lovely is thee-" Lovesick! Merlin involuntarily stopped when Gwaine put a hand to his mouth.

"Okay buddy, the rhymes are okay most of the time, but if you want to stay my friend you do not go shouting love poems in my ear between the hours of 10 in the night and three in the morning. At least, not unless I'm too drunk to remember it," Gwaine warned. "We clear?"

Lovesick! Merlin nodded, and Gwaine put down his hand. They were all laying down to sleep when Arthur came back up the hill. He gently put down Clumsy! Merlin, and lay down himself.

"Night everybody," he whispered, staring up at the stars and wondering if he would ever find his lost manservant and friend.

-BREAK-

Meanwhile, Dark! Merlin was having the time of life. He would have twisted his evil moustache if he had one, but he didn't so he instead settled for twirling his neckerchief (black, of course), and grinning maniacally. He had never felt so evil, and when he was feeling evil, people should start running. Especially little Arty-Warty and his knights (quite frankly, Guinevere scared the bejeebies out of him). They were all going to pay.


	5. Chapter 5

"Morning people!" shouted Gwaine jumping up and down and being…Gwaine.

Then he noticed the numerous glares being sent his way.

"Oh, you're all still asleep, huh? Sorry, forgot that old people need their naps," he scoffed, poking lovesick! Merlin with his sword.

"Gwaine, it's actually common knowledge that most normal people are asleep at seven in the morning," Elyan grumbled, annoyed but too tired to do anything.

Gwaine looked confused. "You're saying I'm abnormal?"

Before an argument could erupt, the ground did.

Yes, the ground erupted in to molten flowing lava, which Gwaine narrowly avoided whilst making very manly sounds ("Ah! Ooh! Ow! Aah!").

"It's Morgana and Dark! Merlin!" Arthur shouted, backing away from the lava.

"Surrender," Morgana commanded, holding something (Someone? thought Arthur) behind her back. "Or face seeing one of your own killed."

She brought out AU! Merlin, putting a knife to his neck as he struggled to break free from her grasp. The Merlins gasped.

"No!" the Merlins shouted simultaneously, each running forward and having to be pulled back by their new non-Merlin friends.

"We'll never surrender to you, Morgana," yelled Arthur, putting a foot on Clumsy! Merlin, who had fallen to the ground when trying to run to AU! Merlin's aid, to stop him from getting away.

"We'd rather die!" agreed Gwen, struggling with Afraid! Merlin (who, everyone had been surprised to see, had also run forward to help AU! Merlin).

"Then so be it!" bellowed Dark! Merlin, taking out a fake moustache on a stick and waving it below his nose. "You shall get your wish," he promised, twirling the twirls on his moustache evilly

"Now why don't the good guys ever get one of those?" muttered Gwaine.

"SHUT UP GWAINE!" they all shouted, including Morgana and Dark! Merlin.

"Hey, I'm speaking out for our rights here!" he yelled back. He raised his hands defensively, and accidentally let go of Lovesick! Merlin.

"GWAINE!"

"Sorry, sorry," he mumbled.

Leon turned to AU! Merlin. "Is he this annoying in all of the other universes?"

AU! Merlin appeared to have to think about it for a moment. "Not when it's Hurt/Comfort between me and him. He's actually pretty sensitive then," he smiled at Gwaine, who was sticking his tongue out at the others euphorically. Then AU! Merlin added "But yeah, most of the time he's pretty annoying."

The rest all watched in dismay as Lovesick! Merlin ran straight toward AU! Merlin, and as soon as he reached him and Morgana, he knelt down on one knee, head bowed.

"In the words of William Shakespeare

May I compare thee to a summer's day? ("I so regret teaching him that," muttered AU! Merlin.)

You have captured my heart,

Please never go away."

The others all stared at each other. What was he doing?

"Oh, fair maiden

No one is fair as thee

I have but one question…"

AU! Merlin looked up suddenly and beamed.

"Will you marry me?"

The scream of rage that Morgana let out could be heard from a million miles away in Arthurland, where all of the Arthurs (who had heard the scream plenty of times before) immediately started running around and banging into each other in general panic. (A/n just to clear up any confusion, the knights and Gwen and Arthur are currently in 'Merlinland', where all of the Merlins live. Arthurland is the place where the possible sequel to this may happen, but I'll explain about that later.)

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Morgana screeched in a voice loud enough to shake the earth.

"I don't know," Fem! Merlin told her. "But it must be something bad. I mean, girl, not even the old religion could make that dress work."

Morgana was just about to blast her to oblivion, when she noticed Lovesick! Merlin still staring up at her, waiting for an answer to his question.

"Will someone get this ingrate away from me?!" she shrieked

"I will." Gwaine volunteered. "As long as you promise not to blow me up," he added hastily.

"Deal," Morgana promised

Gwaine walked towards Lovesick! Merlin, and put an arm around him. "Come on buddy," he whispered, gently but firmly guiding him away. "We do not propose to the enemy. Especially when they're evil she-witches that are trying to kill us."

Lovesick! Merlin desperately looked back over his shoulder to Morgana. "Fair thee well, my love!"

"Hello! Trying to be evil here!" Dark! Merlin said, annoyed. "God, you guys are the worst captives ever!"

"Everyone's a critic," muttered Percival mutinously. Lancelot, however, seemed to disagree. He felt bad about their terrible performance as hostages and, ever the peacemaker, spoke up.

"Ok," he said. "We'll try to do better. I'll start."

Taking a moment to get into character, he imagined the time when he had found out that Arthur and Gwen were engaged, and put on a terribly horrified expression on his face, and then pretended he was talking to Gwen.

"Why are you doing this?" he whispered.

Dark! Merlin turned much scarier suddenly. His expression turned sour, his fake mustache dropped to the floor, and he grew to be much…well, darker than before.

"You want to know why I'm doing this?" he asked dangerously, eyes cold as ice. He snapped his fingers, and the sound echoed as all of them were deadly silent. Behind them there was a ghostly wail, and they all turned to see a screen. It showed the image of Merlin, lying in bed, looking bruised and battered to within an inch of his life.

"Meet my friend…Whump! Merlin."


	6. Chapter 6

Last chapter: "Why are you doing this?" Lancelot whispered.

Dark! Merlin turned much scarier suddenly. His expression turned sour, his fake mustache dropped to the floor, and he grew to be much…well, darker than before.

"You want to know why I'm doing this?" he asked dangerously, eyes cold as ice. He snapped his fingers, and the sound echoed as all of them were deadly silent. Behind them there was a ghostly wail, and they all turned to see a screen. It showed the image of Merlin, lying in bed, looking bruised and battered to within an inch of his life.

"Meet my friend…Whump! Merlin."

-BREAK-

"Oh, did I forget to mention that he's my best friend?" Dark! Merlin continued quietly, fury still clearly showing as he snapped his fingers and made the screen disappear.

"Being best friends with yourself," said Percival . "Now that's just sad."

"What…what's wrong with him?" Lancelot asked, slightly worried about the version of Merlin he had just seen. He knew it wasn't their Merlin, but it still looked like his friend.

Dark! Merlin glared at them all. "You are! You are what is wrong with him, you who still have lingering doubts about his magic, about whose side he is on. Every day he lives in fear of what you might do to him for what he is, and it's killing him!"

Dark! Merlin ranted "Every time you have a slight doubt about whose side he is on, you add a new scar, a new wound. You hurt him with your accusations, but you don't care, do you?" He added bitterly, "Not so long as your little Kingdom is safe."

Gwen, Arthur and the knights at first looked a little bit uncomfortable, then they all-one by one-hung their head in shame. It was true. Even now, whilst they were looking for him, they were unsure of where Merlin's loyalties lied despite everything he had done.

It was Arthur who spoke first. "Dark! Merlin, you have my word, we will never doubt Merlin's loyalties again, not even inside of our heads, I promise."

"Ah, but that, Arthur Pendragon," Dark! Merlin said, "Is where you are right. Because I will not give you the chance to hurt him again!" He spoke a few words and promptly exploded.

(Someone wanted BAMF! Merlin, so I made Dark! Merlin be a BAMF! For a while. Also, the music that Musician! Merlin is playing is the one used in the new Series five Merlin trailer.)

Unfortunately, Dark! Merlin did not explode into a thousand pieces and get scattered around the four corners of the Earth. Instead, he exploded and multiplied, into a thousand Dark! Merlins, and all of the Dark! Merlins were suddenly moving faster than the wind.

The knights and Arthur tried to draw out their swords, but it was in vain. The Dark! Merlins were everywhere. They were surrounding the group, and Musician! Merlin was huddled in a corner playing an epic theme tune for the Dark! Merlins-something that AU! Merlin had shown him called Muse-knights of cyndonia, quite a contrast to his regular classical, but far more appropriate.

The Dark! Merlins all smiled, relishing the thought of killing one of the idiots that were hurting Whump! Merlin with their lack of faith in him. It was rather creepy, in a way, the fact that they all did it simultaneously.

Of course, they left the other Merlins alone. They weren't hurting anyone. Just for fun though, one of the Dark! Merlins whispered "Boo!" in the spot where Afraid! Merlin was hiding, which would have made him run for the hills, except for the fact that they were already on a hill, so he instead rolled (not very gracefully) down the hill.

"Hi there," Clumsy! Merlin said when Afraid! Merlin rolled to the bottom. He too had fallen, as was usual, and they were both upside down on the hill. "How ya doin'?

Afraid! Merlin whimpered in response. Clumsy! Merlin sighed. "Not very much good company here," he complained to nobody in particular.

During all of this, Morgana was sitting down with a cup of tea that she had conjured, keeping an eye on AU! Merlin. She would have done more, but quite frankly-and there was no denying this even to herself-the Dark! Merlins scared the crap out of her!

It's no good, thought Arthur in dismay, as he watched the Dark! Merlins conjure up a storm that whipped the leaves around in the wind. Then he had another thought and groaned. I'm going to lose to Merlin twice in two days!


	7. Chapter 7

RECAP: It's no good, thought Arthur in dismay, as he watched the Dark! Merlins conjure up a storm that whipped the leaves around in the wind. Then he had another thought and groaned. I'm going to lose to Merlin twice in two days!

That thought was enough to spur Arthur on, if not for his knights and Gwen, then at least because he did not want to, and would not lose to the worst fighter in all of Camelot. Of course, he had already done that, but to let Morgana see him do it would be a real, living nightmare. He'd never hear the end of it.

"You'd think that being evil would make her less annoying," he muttered as he swung his sword and parried a blow made by one of the Dark! Merlins. He was finally gaining on his opponent, and managed to pierce his left shoulder. The Dark! Merlins all gasped in pain and, popping back into one person, vanished. Morgana sighed, relieved, and put down her cup of tea. She gave her signature smirk, and left to join her companion.

Arthur ignored all of the cheers and pats on the back he was getting, and simply wiped his forehead and started walking in the direction they'd walked the other day He knew that, even though this battle had been won, they hadn't won the war. He told the others this, and later AU! Merlin spread the message to the modern 2012 folk. It eventually became a proverb. Arthur looked out into the horizon and for the first time thought about what a strange place Merlinland was. No roads, no towns, just hills and Merlins. Everything except the Merlins and them was green. There were even little frog! Merlins jumping around, who had ice blue eyes. Probably because Merlin was a girl and loved nature so much, thought Arthur fondly. Then he realized he was talking about his friend in past tense and immediately stopped thinking. He was never any good at it, anyway.

They carried on through the mist, though for once they were unchallenged by any mystical creatures. Since they were in Merlin's head, they figured it was probably because he had had enough of those to last him a life time, maybe even two of them. Now all they had to worry about was Dark! Merlin…and Morgana, sort of. (A/n hehe, Morgana's spotlight is getting stolen xD)

-BREAK-

"Grrrr!" said the she-witch, baring her teeth at herself in the mirror she was holding in her hand.

"Keep that up and people will start to think you're crazy," commented Dark! Merlin, flipping through his herbal and medicine book.

"Well, it's not my fault that no one thinks I'm scary anymore," Morgana pouted. "What was up with that stunt you pulled today? We almost had them!"

Dark! Merlin stood up from his chair and moved to the other side of the bed that held Whump! Merlin. "I was angry," he said softly so that he wouldn't wake his friend. "About what they've done to him."

Morgana sneered at the obvious care in his voice. "What do you have to do to get some green eye shadow in this joint anyway?"

Dark! Merlin face palmed.

-BREAK-

Meanwhile, Arthur was being driven crazy. Fem! Merlin had turned Gwaine's hair pink and purple, and now he was clutching his locks and wailing in despair. Baby! Merlin had started crying and Percival was growing frantic. Clumsy! Merlin kept falling over. Gwen and Swordsman! Merlin were arguing about whether all was fair in love and war. Angst! Merlin was being grumpy and generally depressing. AU! Merlin was telling Musician! Merlin, who was playing the loudest song he knew to Leon, that he was getting it wrong, And Leon was being very un-knight-like by putting his fingers in his ears and screaming at the top of his lungs "Lalalalalalalalalalalalala!" in order not to hear, with Cheerful! Merlin joining in so that Leon would not feel left out, with a big grin on his face. Afraid! Merlin was full out bawling by this time because of all the noise.

But worst of all was Lovesick! Merlin.

"Oh woe is me!

Oh woe is me!" he cried, holding a hand to his heart as he walked. Gwen mouthed 'Do something!' to Arthur.

"Well, you're the one wanted to bring him," he hissed. Lovesick! Merlin stopped suddenly, and turned to Guinevere.

"Will you marry me?"

Arthur's eyes popped. A vein in his head throbbed, not unlike his father's, and his hand went to his sword. One way or another, Merlin was going to die.


	8. Chapter 8

"Lemme at him! Lemme at him!" cried Arthur, struggling away from Percival's grip.

Lancelot sighed. "You too, huh?" he said sympathetically to Lovesick! Merlin. Inside he thought, _Hmmm, if Merlin actually manages to beat Arthur, I can take Gwen away from him._

Gwen glared, knowing exactly what Lancelot was thinking. "Not happening," she hissed.

Meanwhile Fem! Merlin was busy trying to think of someway to distract Arthur from pulverising the Lovesick! Male version of her. She decided on what to do after remembering a phrase that AU! Merlin had taught her, 'Fight fire with fire, and nobody gets burned', or something like that. She smirked. Time to beat love with love. She snapped her fingers.

"Lemme at h-" Arthur stopped screaming as he found himself looking down at another Merlin. He had an adoring expression on his face, his neckerchief was rainbow coloured, but worst of all was the fact that he was making great big googly eyes…at Arthur.

"Arthur," said Fem! Merlin," Meet _Slash! Merlin!"_

_DUN DUN DUN_ went Musician! Merlin's violin, as Arthur's shocked face showed his horror at the creature that AU! Merlin had told him of during their travels. He let out a _very_ manly (not) shriek, wriggled out of Percival's grip, and ran for the hills without looking behind him. Slash! Merlin immediately chased him, arms outstretched to grab the prince.

The rest of the group looked at each other and burst out laughing, settling down to enjoy the show. It was an hour (okay, maybe two hours, but who's counting?) later when Fem! Merlin wiped her tears of mirth and used her magic to force Slash! Merlin to leave Arthur alone.

Arthur realized he wasn't being chased anymore, so he cleared his throat, brushed himself off, picked up Clumsy! Merlin and walked on, staying well away from Slash! Merlin who had a mournful expression on his face as Fem! Merlin used her magic to keep him away.

They trudged on, making little progress. Eventually they came to a wood where they decided to stay for the night, partly because they were tired and partly because Arthur started whimpering almost as badly as Afraid! Merlin when it started to get dark. It was bad enough that he didn't have Pudsey, they couldn't make him walk in the dark as well.

"Night Clumsy! Merlin, Night Percival, night Baby! Merlin, night Gwen, night Afraid! Merlin, night Leon, night Musician! Merlin, night Elyan, night Cheerful! Merlin, night Gwaine, night Lovesick! Merlin (just kidding, I hope _your_ night is terrible, you git), night Fem! Merlin, night AU! Merlin, night Swordsman! Merlin," said Arthur sleepily. Then he added, "And Slash! Merlin, stay over _there_!"

"My turn!" yelled Gwaine loudly, turning to Fem! Merlin. "Good night, my lovely. Goodnight Lovesick! Merlin, goodnight-"

"SHUT UP!" roared Percival, and when everyone stared at him he said. "Okay, I know I'm a man of few words, but really, this is getting _ridiculous!"_

Gwaine pouted. "So the princess is allowed to say goodnight to everyone, but I'm not?"

"Well, we couldn't exactly tell the King to shut up, could we?" said Leon. Gwaine opened his mouth, but Fem! Merlin butted in.

"Gwaine," she told him. "If you shut up right this very minute I just might, possibly, _maybe_ turn your hair back from pink and purple to its normal colour."

_That_ got Gwaine to button it.


	9. Chapter 9

**chapter nine of epicness-**

"My hair…my hair…my _hair,_ " Gwaine groaned, clutching his pink and purple locks and pacing back and forth next to the river. How he had gotten to that river he had no idea but that didn't matter right now. He had a vague recollection of trying to find his own reflection, which he always did first thing in the morning. What better way to start a morning than to look at Gwaine? Apparently someone else thought so too…

"BOO!" yelled a voice right behind Gwaine, who shrieked and fell into the river still holding on to his hair.

"Too easy," laughed Arthur, smirking at Gwaine who was waving his arms around in an attempt not to sink under.

"You followed me?!" he demanded, trying his best to sound indignant whilst he was coughing and spluttering in the water.

"Well, it was either that or sit listening to Percival's snoring," Arthur replied, sitting down on grass with his knees up and looking disgruntled.

 _What's up with him?_ thought Gwaine

"God, why is everything so damn _quiet?_ " Arthur said loudly, as though he alone could fill the silence. And Gwaine realized what was wrong…Arthur was used to being woken up by his best friend in the morning, loads of talking and lots of food.

 _Oh God, I'm feeling sorry for the_ Queen _,_ thought Gwaine.

"Oh yeah, you miss Merlin, don't you?" he asked.

Arthur jumped up and looked as if he was mortally offended.

"What the hell gave you _that_ idea?" his eyebrows knitting together. Gwaine pulled himself out of the river and sat on the grassy bank.

"Arthur…you followed him to an unknown place, put up with all of the different Merlins for him and have proven you'd be willing to die for him. Don't you think it's a _little_ bit too late to pretend that you two aren't best mates?"

Arthur sat down again and said "You're his best friend too, you know."

Gwaine scoffed. "Yeah right. As if I've ever been part of that whole bromance thing AU Merlin keeps talking about."

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Hello?" he said, waving his hand up and down in front of Gwaine's face. "Was someone sleeping the entire time of the eye of the phoenix episode?"

"Oh yeah," he added, seeing Gwaine's confused face. "I've been chatting to AU Merlin as well. Remember? That little guy? Twittering on about Courage, Strength, and Magic? I guess I know what he meant now." **(A/n Season 3, episode 8, people!)**

"Unless I'm mistaken, _princess_ , you and me and Merlin do NOT have a three-way bromance. I mean, when was the last time I was EVER invited to a morning banter session?" Gwaine argued aggressively, though he had a stony face on to make out like he didn't really care.

Arthur was concerned now. He decided there was only one way to answer. An epic monologue.

"Only because, for one, you're not my manservant. You could always apply for the post, though I think you'd be even worse than Merlin, if that were two, you're always way too hung-over in the morning to form a coherent sentence of more than four words, normally being 'What happened last night?'. Number three: you don't take kindly to having objects like goblets thrown at you. Of course, neither does Merlin, but he can't do anything about it."

Arthur rounded up his monologue by punching Gwaine in the arm. "However, _that_ we can do. Merlin always squeals like a girl when I do that to him. By the way, I thought you called me Queen now, not princess?"

Gwaine grinned. "Eh, princess has a better ring to it. Come on, let's go back and beg Fem! Merlin to change my hair back to normal. Hey, princess?"

"Yeah, Gwaine?"

"You can throw anything you want at me in the morning, at least until we find Merlin again."

"Really? Excellent."

_After a pause..._

"Ouch! I didn't mean it literally! I was saying it to be bromantic!"

"Oh, right. Sorry."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter three recap:

Wise! Merlin said "I told you, to find your friend you must find Emrys."

"Yeah, like _that's_ gonna happen," snorted Gwaine. "How are we going to find him in a place like this? Why can't the universe ever just give us a break?"

…And then Gwaine noticed the huge arrow that had _Emrys_ painted on it pointing northwards. He looked up at the sky, and said "Thank you, the universe."

"His _name_ is Percival Pereduer Jr," Percival growled, rocking baby! Merlin back and forth.

Gwaine did a double take. "That's your _name_?" And then..."Can I call you PP?"

Chapter seven recap:

Fem! Merlin had turned Gwaine's hair pink and purple, and he was now clutching his locks and wailing in despair

Chapter nine recap:

Gwaine:"You can throw anything you want at me in the morning, at least until we find Merlin again."

Arthur:"Really? Excellent."

_After a pause..._

Gwaine:"Ouch! I didn't mean it literally! I was saying it to be bromantic!"

Arthur:"Oh, right. Sorry."

**CHAPTER TEN OF EPICNESS**

"There you lot are!" exclaimed Leon, seeing Arthur and Gwaine making their way towards them.

"We _would_ have been here sooner, but the princess was busy throwing boulders at me!" said Gwaine, rubbing the side of his head.

"Come off it, Gwaine, it was a _pebble._ You're even more of a girl than Merlin!" Arthur replied.

"Hey, I resent that; Merlin's waygirlier than I am," Gwaine argued.

"Aww, thank you Gwaine," said Fem! Merlin, sounding pleased. She closed her eyes and concentrated; Gwaine's hair went back to its normal color.

Gwaine whooped with delight, punched the air and smiled like an idiot.

"My _hair_!" he yelled.

"Yes Gwaine, you're _very_ manly, I can see that now," Arthur sneered.

"Do you guys mind? Ijust got this little guy to sleep after all the night and half the morning and I _do_ not appreciate you lot waking him up," Percival grumbled, indicating Baby! Merlin.

"Sorry, PP," grinned Gwaine, ducking out of the way when Percival swung a punch at him.

" _Enough!"_ roared a voice that seemed to be coming out of the sky.

"Who said that?" said Gwen, staring up at the sky as Afraid! Merlin cowered behind her.

"It is I, the Great Dragon!" Kilgharrah revealed, and the clouds parted as he soared through them, descending from the sky and landing on the ground.

He peered down at them, looking pretty impressive.

"Well, someone's not a happy bunny," muttered Gwaine, seeing the frightening expression on the dragon's face and, as per usual, saying exactly the wrong thing.

Kilgharrah looked confused. "I am a dragon."

"Yeah, yeah I know that, it's a…never mind…," Gwaine's voice tailed away.

Kilgharrah turned to the others. "What is the matter with this boy?" he asked them. "Is he unhinged?"

"Something like that, yeah," answered Slash! Merlin. "Cute, though," he added, and Gwaine edged subtly away from him. Or not so subtly, as he fell over in the process. ( **A/n Hey, you guys asked for Slash! Merlin, I gave you Slash! Merlin. I don't do things by halves :P).**

"Aah, Slash! Merlin," said Kilgharrah, gazing fondly at him.

"You two know each other?" Arthur asked bemusedly.

"And _you…"_ Kilgharrah snarled, and as smoke poured from the dragon Arthur wondered if he was about to be burned to cinders. However, Kilgharrah simply sighed exasperatedly. "Couldn't you at least _pretend_ to not be one-hundred-percent-straight for _one_ episode? For the sake of the plot? The fan girls? For me?"

Arthur looked even more confused and Kilgharrah exchanged a knowing look with AU! Merlin.

"Ah well," sighed Kilgharrah, "I guess Merthur will never happen."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," said Fem! Merlin, looking disgusted.

"And if you're just about done," Gwen butted in angrily, "can you tell us why you're here?"

Kilgharrah took a step back. He'd heard about this Gwen girl from Merlin and decided that he'd better get straight to the point if he didn't want to get whacked on the head with a saucepan.

"I've come…to help," Kilgharrah said, lowering his head.

Seeing their disbelieving faces, he continued "Well, you're not very good at this quest business, are you? Do you even know where you're going?"

They shifted from foot to foot and glanced at each other. Where exactly were they going again?

After a long pause, Elyan finally broke the silence "Erm…we found an arrow sign that said Emrys about-eh, 30 miles ago, was it?" he asked the others, who all still looked like they were being told off.

"You followed an arrow…that said Emrys," Kilgharrah repeated, looking incredulous.

"That the universe gave us," added Gwaine defiantly, who was very proud of his new friend, the universe.

Kilgharrah shook his head. "Right, I could give you a huge monologue about how that sign could have been planted by anyone, say Morgana or Dark! Merlin, and despair over the stupidity of humans, or you can climb on my back and I can take you to meet Emrys."

"What…all of us?" Arthur asked.

Kilgharrah looked affronted. "And what's that supposed to mean, young Pendragon?"

"No offence, you just look a _lot_ bigger up in the air."

"Well, I can call a couple of my cousins, the wyverns. Im sure you'd all fit on them, assuming that they don't eat you first."

"Your back sounds good."

So they all clambered on to the dragons back, and rose up into the sky, ignoring Percival asking whether or not they were _sure_ that dragons were baby-proof, and Gwaine's yells of "This is so _cool_!"

Which, in all honesty, it was.


	11. Chapter 11

"So...anyone have any idea where we're going?"

"Nope, not a clue."

Gwaine scowled at Arthur, who was on the other side of the dragon, sitting back with his arms behind his head, looking perfectly content. How could he be such a dud? Sure, let's just climb on to a great big green animal, never mind that it might eat us or drop us or set fire to my hair, he thought sarcastically, but he didn't say any thing. Partly because he was afraid the dragon would set fire to his hair if he did, and partly because this was, as he'd mentioned before, so...friggin'...cool.

It was amazing. The sun was setting in the horizon, the cool breeze was blowing in their faces and all the Merlins beneath them were exclaiming loudly and pointing at the great green shape curved across the pink sky, the majestic creature's wings outspread, dipping down and then swooping up again, flying lazily through all of Merlinland. They were making more progress than they had in all the earlier days of their quest put together, with little to no effort at all, and they were travelling on a dragon, for christ's sake.

But still...how come none of them had thought of the dragon betraying them before? Really, am I the only smart person on this dragon?

Mind-reader! Merlin burst out laughing. "In your dreams, maybe," he commented, smiling.

Gwaine stuck his tongue out at him. As they had started travelling on the dragon, more and more Merlins had hailed them down much like, according to AU! Merlin, the modern folk would hail a taxi and climbed on to Kilgharrah, Mind-reader! Merlin being one of them. Some of them had places to get to, some wanted to join the quest, and some just for the pure hell of it.

It was for this reason that, when night fell, Kilgharrah started breathing heavily from all the extra weight on his back. The passengers decided to call it a night when he burnt a few hills.

"Are you sure you can't carry on, Kilgharrah?" wheedled Arthur. "Just a bit?"

"Quite sure, you Pendragon, though I'm sure we could get a lot farther tomorrow if you happened to lose a few stone overnight. And by few, I mean thirty, perhaps forty. The more the better."

"Well, then," Arthur huffed, and left the dragon to it, glaring at all the laughing Merlins.

"We need to travel light, Arthur," said Gwen worriedly. "Kilgharrah has to travel fast if we're going to find Merlin by the day after tomorrow."

"Wait a minute, who set a deadline on this thing?" asked Arthur.

"I did," grinned Gwaine. "Makes it much more exciting."

"Focus, people," barked Percival, though he wasn't doing a very good job of acting tough as he was rocking Baby! Merlin. "How do we lose thirty or forty stone by tomorrow?"

"Thirty or forty stone?" frowned Elyan. "That's at least ten Merlins."

True, he is a scrawny git, thought Arthur.

Fem! Merlin butted in, "So, how do we get rid of all the Merlins?"

"Not Afraid! Merlin," interjected Gwen, scratching Araid! Merlin between the ears.

"Or Cheerful! Merlin," added Elyan, who was promptly choked in a bear hug from Cheerful! Merlin.

"Chill, people, none of you will lose your pets," said Fem! Merlin irritably, "but we do need to figure out a way to get rid of the ten Merlins that climbed on to Kilgharrah's back today."

I have an idea, thought Arthur sourly, fingering his sword as he remembered how the Merlins had laughed a him earlier. Mind reader! Merlin hastened to scurry away and hide behind a tree.

"Arthur, no killling," scolded Gwen. She turned to Fem! Merlin. "So, what are we going to do?"

Fem! Merlin smiled slyly. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve..."


	12. Hide and seek

_Merlin sighed. What was he doing here again? Sitting on a hill, in the middle of nowhere, in the freezing cold?_

_Oh yeah, he was here because Emrys told him to meditate and clear his mind. Only Merlin couldn't. Because he was sitting on a hill, in the middle of nowhere, in the freezing cold._

_He took a deep breath and tried to clear his aching head, but all he could wonder, as gusts of winds blew in his face, was how exactly this was supposed to help him defeat…what? What was he supposed to defeat?_

_Morgana? He wasn't so sure he could do that. Sure, she was evil now. But she had once been one of his best friends, and he hadn't forgotten that. The idea that she could be gone forever, and because of him…_

_He shivered and closed his eyes. No, that wasn't it. He wasn't here to figure out how to kill Morgana. She was gone, had already ripped out her own heart when she'd turned on those she loved most. There wasn't anything he could do to destroy her. She'd already destroyed herself._

_So who was he here for? His friends? They'd been through so much together, slaying beasts, foes, whatever came their way._

And they still doubt you, _said the voice inside his head that he didn't particularly like._ You, who has done so much for them, you who spared them even when they tracked you down and hunted you like an animal. And what is your reward for being a faithful, loyal friend _?_

_Merlin opened his eyes and surveyed the scene around him. All around him, things were fleeing. Leaves turned black and fell from their trees, letting the wind take them where it wanted, anywhere but here. Birds were flying in all directions away from the hill making as little noise as possible; as if it were a huge monster, the very worst one of them all, that they were afraid of waking. Even the sun, so powerful, so strong, had gone; leaving the moon to face whatever it was that was coming._

_It was if they knew, all of them, that something bad was going to happen. And they'd left Merlin to face it alone._

This! _hissed the voice, answering its own question before it was hastily banished to the back of Merlin's mind where it would lay dormant until the next time it was needed. For Merlin needed that voice, as it had not only answered its own question, but also Merlin's._

 _For, now that the voice had so nicely reminded him, he knew what it was that he was getting ready to face:_ Destiny.

_Destiny. Merlin gave a wry smile. It was the very definition of a fickle friend. Without Destiny, he would have never met Arthur, Gwen, Morgana, any of them. For better or for worse, it had brought them all together, and had been playing with them all ever since, for they were It's pawns._

_And he couldn't escape, though heavens knew he wanted to. But he knew though bitter experience, no matter where he fled, even if to a different era, a different_ world _, it would find him. He'd tried defying It, and look where it had gotten him. Hide and Seek would get him nowhere._

_For he was not a leaf, or a bird, or the Sun. He was Merlin, and he had a duty to fulfill. To Arthur, Gwen, the knights and all wrongly persecuted magic users everywhere. It would happen, one day. It had to. After all, Destiny said so, and God help anyone that tried to get in It's way._

_His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a voice travelling through the winds. Emrys was calling. It was time to leave this hill and face his Destiny._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n some of this shall be done in the form of a play. Why? Because I felt like it.

RECAP: Said Fem! Merlin irritably: we need to figure out a way to get rid of the ten Merlins that climbed on to Kilgharrah's back today."

 _I have an idea_ , thought Arthur sourly, fingering his sword as he remembered how the Merlins had laughed at him earlier. Mind reader! Merlin hastened to scurry away and hide behind a tree.

"Arthur, no killing," scolded Gwen. She turned to Fem! Merlin. "So, what _are_ we going to do?"

Fem! Merlin smiled slyly. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve..."

**-CHAPTER THIRTEEN OF AWESOMENESS-**

The Merlins were running wild. It had been twenty-four hours since Fem! Merlin had told them of her plan, and she'd been working on it for hours.

"What do you mean you need to 'work on it'?" Arthur had asked, his brow burrowing in confusion. "Can't you just, you know…?"

Fem! Merlin huffed. "Snap my fingers and make it happen? No, I cannot. Complicated spells take time and preparation, something that bone idle kings wouldn't understand. Plus, I need time to book my spa appointment for when we get out of here."

Arthur stayed silent for a while. Then, he said "Why _don't_ you just snap your fingers and get us out of here?" He looked around at their Merlins (The Merlins had formed two groups in the knights and Gwen's minds. 'Their' Merlins were the ones they had brought with them, and the others were the ones that had simply joined without asking.) "Why won't any of you just zap Merlin back here, and tell us how to get out of here? I'm sure you all know."

Another silence followed, broken by Love! Merlin, who was now called Sappy! Merlin, as Gwaine had convinced him to promise not to fall in love with anyone on this trip after the *cough* incident when he'd proposed to Gwen. He'd agreed, mostly to stop Arthur tearing his face off. "It's something you all need to find for yourself."

After seeing their confused faces, he cleared his throat and launched into a poem:

_During a journey on a quest_

_You find an answer, two or three_

_To a question, I think I know yours:_

_What are Merlins loyalties?_

Gwaine whistled. "You've gotten better, mate." The knights and Gwen stared at him. That was one of the worst poems they'd ever heard.

"What? At least it didn't have anything about love, flowers or chocolate in it".

They shrugged, and turned their faces to Arthur. They need the answer to the question. What _were_ Merlin's loyalties? He was King. It was his decision.

But his response surprised them all. He stared at each of them in turn, looking incredulous. At last, he looked at Kilgharrah, who had been silent for this entire exchange. They locked eyes for a moment, and then Kilgharrah turned away. Then Arthur exploded.

"Are you guys _serious?_ All this time, we've been looking…Do you guys even…How can you call yourselves his _friends_ …Why the hell…Are you _serious?!..._ " This was the general gist of what he was saying, amidst all the swearing and shouting he was doing. He ended it with something along the line of "So, _yes,_ you lot, I'm pretty sure where Merlin's loyalties _lie,_ and they're with _us_!" and did this with particular venom, before storming off to a crowd of cheers from the Merlins.

Gwen and the knights stared at each other, sharing the same thought: _Uh-oh._

**The next day  -**

 

**Merlinland, a hill.**

**The knights are pacing back and forth with worried expressions. Guinevere is sitting on a log. The Merlins are off doing Merlin stuff.**

**Gwen** : (sighing, getting off the log) I suppose I'd better go and find him.

 **Leon** : (stepping forward, sword by his side) I'll come with you, my lady. It may be dangerous.

 **Gwen** : (shaking her head) No, it's better if I go alone. You should get some sleep, Leon, you were up patrolling all last night.

**Leon nods, and Gwen walks off into the distance.**

**AU! Merlin:** She's so sweet, isn't she? I mean, you'd never guess she'd turn evil in season five.

 **Leon:** what?

 **AU! Merlin** : (gasps) Sorry, spoiler alert.

 **Leon** : (shakes his head) Never mind. Do me a favor would you? (Points at the knights) Amuse them for a while as I catch a few winks.

 **AU! Merlin** : Sure, least I can do. That season is pretty awesome, after all.

**_Scene 1 Act 2_**

**Fem! Merlin is walking back up the hill with all the other Merlins, hearing strange noises. She reaches the top of the hill. Her jaw drops.**

**Fem! Merlin:** (loudly) what are you doing?

**The knights and AU! Merlin are on the hill, standing on their heads.**

**AU! Merlin:** Leon told me to amuse them.

 **Gwaine** : We're playing Simon Says. And the blood is all rushing to my head. You wanna join?

 **AU! Merlin:** Gwaine, Simon is _not_ going to ask her to kiss you! Simon says stand up.

**The knights get to their feet, moaning.**

**Arthur:** (grumbling) _I'm_ the King. Why have we gotta do what _Simon_ says? I'll chop his head off!

 **Elyan** : (teasing) Careful, Arthur. Sounding a bit like Uther there!

**Fem! Merlin's jaw drops even further. The other Merlins clamber onto the hill.**

**Fem! Merlin:** You're back!

 **Arthur** : (smiles) Yes, Gwen convinced me to come back.

**Gwen waves from where she is standing (yet _another_ hill) with Kilgharrah, picking thorns out of his behind from where he'd sat on a porcupine. Why there were porcupines in Merlin's mind, they didn't know, but Arthur said it explained a lot.**

**Percival:** (taking Baby! Merlin from Musician Merlin's arms) We really _are_ sorry, Arthur, we didn't mean to- Oh, someone needs their nappy changed!

 **Gwaine:** Get it away from me, get it away!

**Pause.**

**Gwaine:** The name PP really does sound ironic now, doesn't it?

 **Percival:** (swatting at Gwaine) Shut up!

 **Arthur:** its fine, guys. You know, just forget about me, the upset friend who ran away yesterday night to sleep in a cave.

**Arthur is ignored. Percival continues swatting at Gwaine with Baby! Merlin in his arms until Gwaine falls down. Gwen giggles as she walks back up the hill.**

**Arthur:** (trying to not look like he was just ignored and puts his Im-the-King-and-Im-in-charge face on, turns to Fem! Merlin) So, what's this big idea of yours?

 **Fem! Merlin:** (smirks in a way eerily reminiscent of Morgana, but way more awesome because she's…Merlin) I'll tell you. What's the one thing that no Merlin can resist saving?

**Pause.**

**Gwen:** Purple silk dresses?

 **Percival:** (rocking Baby! Merlin) Babies? Cute adorable babies?

 **Gwaine:** (getting up from where Percival knocked him down, swaying a little) Beer?

 **Fem! Merlin** : Nope! It's…

**She waves her hand, and suddenly ten blue eyed, blond haired men stand in front of them.**

**Fem! Merlin:**...Arthur!

**Gwen, the Merlins and knights stare at the ten Arthurs. Slash! Merlin looks like he's in heaven. Or like he's going to pass out. And Arthur…Arthur _does_ pass out….**


End file.
